The first years of living with pain I can confidently call the "Middle Ages in the pages of my private history." I won't go into details, because this isn't the place for it, but it was a time of wandering, lack of knowledge, and helplessness in the face of symptoms that seemed incomprehensible and elusive.
I functioned in a reality resembling medicine from before the age of science. Somewhat like the era of experiments instead of treatments, guesswork instead of diagnoses, and attempts to ease pain with methods that more often stemmed from desperation than from any real understanding of the disease.
I truly felt like a patient in the Middle Ages. Left to chance, intuition, and the limited knowledge of those who tried to help. There was no cohesive approach, no specialized diagnostics, and no awareness of what neuralgia (neuropathy) related to trigeminal nerve damage actually was. The pain was taken seriously, but there were no tools to genuinely address it.
It was also a time of deep loneliness — without clear answers, without a sense of control, with the impression of groping through a reality where medicine couldn't keep up with what was happening in my body. And precisely in that space, something else began to resonate: the awareness that living with chronic pain is not limited to the body alone.
Because pain quickly stops being only a physical signal, as I've mentioned many times before. It becomes the background of daily life. It permeates thoughts, emotions, and the way we perceive the world. It affects mood, the relationship with oneself, the sense of meaning.
In this context, I began to see that I needed something more than just repeated attempts to "fix" the body. I needed a different way of being with this experience.
Mindfulness as a first step
That's where mindfulness appeared — something simple at first: the ability to notice what is happening in a given moment. This is the first step that allows you to see pain as it is, without an immediate reaction of escape, tension, or resistance. When you can say "this is pain" instead of "this is destroying me," space appears. Like in the river metaphor I've loved for years — if you can see the river, it means you're not drowning in it.
However, observation alone turned out to be insufficient. Without the right tools, it's easy to get stuck in endlessly registering pain and difficult thoughts.
That's why I gradually discovered that mindfulness needs support — and that support became self-compassion, patience, and insight.
Self-compassion meant stepping away from fighting my own body. Instead of treating it like an enemy, I began relating to it with care.
Patience helped me accept that change doesn't happen immediately — neither in the body nor in the mind.
Insight allowed me to see something very important: that suffering doesn't arise solely from pain, but also from the reaction to it — tension, fear, resistance, or catastrophic thoughts.
From mindfulness to broader awareness
Over time, mindfulness began expanding into a deeper awareness. While mindfulness is focused and point-specific, awareness has a more open, panoramic quality. In this wider perspective, pain stops being the sole center of experience. It is still present, but it no longer dominates the entire field of perception. Other elements appear alongside it: breath, sounds, space, and sometimes even moments of peace.
This shift was not about pain disappearing, but about changing the relationship with it. Instead of a tight, overwhelming experience, a larger space began to emerge — one in which pain is just one of many phenomena.
Moreover, it's becoming increasingly clear that working with the mind is not disconnected from the body. Research suggests that mindfulness practices can also affect the biological level, including regulation of inflammatory processes. This shows how deeply these two areas are interconnected.
A new understanding
Ultimately, I began to understand that living with chronic pain is not solely about eliminating it — because that is often not possible — but about changing the relationship with it. Mindfulness opens the door, but it is awareness, supported by compassion and wisdom, that allows you to walk through it. Thanks to this, a life becomes possible in which pain is present but does not define one's entire existence.
A practical technique: "3 Steps — Notice, Allow, Expand"
To move beyond reflection alone, here is something very simple you can apply to direct experience.
This is a brief practice that can be used at any moment — including when pain is present. It requires no preparation or ideal conditions. Just a moment of attention.
1. Notice (about 30–60 seconds)
Pause for a moment and name the experience:
"This is pain" or "I feel tension."
Try to notice where exactly in the body it is and what quality it has (e.g., pulsating, burning, sharp) — without judging.
2. Allow (about 30–60 seconds)
Instead of fighting the pain, try to make a little room for it.
You can say to yourself:
"This can be here for a moment."
This isn't about giving up — it's about reducing the resistance that often intensifies suffering.
3. Expand (about 60 seconds)
Gently broaden your attention beyond pain:
Notice your breath, the sounds around you, your body's contact with the ground.
The point of this practice is to notice that pain is only a part of a larger experience — not the whole of it.
Natalia — since 2014 I've been living with trigeminal nerve pain. I write in plain language, based on reliable sources and personal experience. Read my story →
Frequently Asked Questions
What is trigeminal neuralgia?
Trigeminal neuralgia is a chronic facial pain condition. It manifests as sudden, severe, usually one-sided pain attacks — often described as an electric shock. A single attack typically lasts from a few seconds to about two minutes.
What is the difference between neuralgia and neuropathy?
In simple terms: neuralgia primarily involves paroxysmal pain along a nerve, usually without loss of sensation. Neuropathy involves nerve damage that more often causes constant pain along with numbness and sensory loss.
Which doctor should I see for facial pain?
First, see a neurologist. If surgery is being considered, a neurosurgeon. If a dental cause is suspected, it is also worth ruling it out with a dentist.
Can trigeminal neuralgia be cured?
In many people, pain can be effectively controlled with medications or procedures, and MVD provides the most durable results in eligible patients. The course varies — with periods of remission and relapse. Decisions are made together with your doctor.
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